When I lived in Lawton I joined the early walkers at the mall. I’d try not to get run over by the 60-somethings who walked briskly past the stores. It was a challenge, but I enjoyed my time there and saw many interesting people. One particular individual has stayed in my memory. He was a black man, a soldier from Ft Sill wearing his bdu’s, walking toward me. He was a sergeant I supposed, and was muscular and confident in his stride. He wore an infectious grin as he walked.  His morning workout was a little more intensive than mine: swinging from his outstretched arm, clinging to his biceps, his two-year-old little girl exchanged smiles with him as they passed me. I gave them one of mine: my day was made by the sight of a daughter and a dad looking into each other’s eyes and giggling as they walked.

I’d like to think that little girl has enjoyed a successful life. The angry girls I have seen in my counseling practice, struggling with life often seemed to harbor anger toward their fathers. They often referred to their dads by less than complimentary epithets. I’m certain none of them ever got to swing from daddy’s arms on a morning walk. Dads and daughters are designed to enjoy a strong bond together. H. Norman Wright in his 1993 book Always Daddy’s Girl says the connection is absolutely magical. When it is broken by abuse or absence the result is much pain and difficulty in adjusting to life. Forming healthy relationships with the opposite sex will likewise prove challenging.

A daughter often compares her boyfriends to her dad. Her father serves as her male role model and a healthy one can help keep herself for her future husband. She will be better able to resist a young man’s improper advances. Dads whose child rearing style is a gentle authoritative, (Because I love you and I’m your father, that’s why.) rather than a dictatorial authoritarian (Do what I say or else!) approach or a permissive style help their daughters recognize and develop healthy boundaries. They observe society’s limits and are respectful toward teachers and adult authority figures. Consequently, they tend to be happier children who often achieve their goals in life. Dads who practice a balanced style of parenting demonstrate it with appropriate affection and affirmation—like playing with their little girl while walking the mall. Their children sometimes become High school valedictorians.

Lacking the biceps for my Army Sergeant’s parenting style, I used wheelbarrows. They worked pretty well, too.